A good ole' fashioned German Wedding

During the last week, I was fortunate enough to have experienced a part of German culture that most exchange students never do: a wedding. Last Saturday one of Charlotte’s closest friends married her long-time boyfriend. I had been looking forward to the wedding for quite some time because I was interested to see if and how it would contrast with the “typical” American wedding. However, despite a few minor variations, the ceremony was not so “foreign.” I will, nevertheless, still try to describe how it went.
This past Thursday, two days before the wedding, the families of the bride- and groom-to-be hosted a party called Polterabend. Although I am not sure if my source is accurate, I read that Polterabend dates back to around 1517. Whether or not this is precisely correct, it demonstrates how far back the tradition can be traced in Germany. If one looks at the composition of the word, Polterabend, an idea of what occurs during this celebration is easily formed. The German words “poltern” and “abend” mean to rumble/jangle and evening respectively. Therefore, one expects a night of loud noises. During this evening guests brought old dishes and pottery which they subsequently tossed to the ground.
To maintain some order, an area was designated for guests to throw their dishes. However, occasionally a guest or family member would break a dish outside of the area, after which either the bride or groom or both were presented with a broom to clean up the mess. While I suspect that this task of sweeping together is meant to invoke the cooperation that is needed throughout a marriage, this is only my guess for the tradition. As for the breaking of dishes, I believe that the tradition emerges from an old superstitious belief that the noise of the breaking pottery would scare away any evil spirits. There is even the saying, “Scherben bringen Glück” (hard to translate, but basically it means that the pieces of broken pottery bring luck). Unfortunately I did not have any old dishes to destroy, but it was still interesting to take part in this old tradition. And, in addition to the shattering of dishes, there was plenty of food, beer, and music to keep one entertained.
Saturday was the big day. Charlotte was one of the Brautjungfern (bridesmaids), all of whom wore pink dresses. Wanting to match I sported a light pink shirt with a white tie. Bold to say the least, but I like to think it turned out well. The entire ceremony lasted around an hour and wasn’t anything atypical. Except for the fact that the bride and groom sat in two chairs at the front of the church rather than standing, it was a normal wedding. There were several songs played, half of them in German and half in English (the father of the bride is American). The only thing that I found humorous in the wedding is that the songs that were played in English seemed to come from the movie Sister Act! But, they were still fitting and sounded very nice with the accompaniment of the organ.
After the ceremony everyone congratulated the new couple. That’s normal. Then came the German influences. First, a log of about a yard in length was brought to the couple. Taking the handsaw that was provided, they began sawing the piece of wood in half. Understandably, this took a few minutes and is not something that I’m used to witnessing at a wedding, but like the sweeping up of the broken dishes, I believe it is meant to symbolize the teamwork essential for a healthy marriage. Finally, a large piece of cloth was brought to the couple. In the center of the cloth was drawn an enormous heart with the names of the couple inside. They were given scissors to cut out the heart and when they had completed that task, the groom carried the bride through the center of heart-shaped whole left in the cloth. Not sure what this means, but I am guessing it is similar to the “carrying over the threshold” that we are familiar with.
Following the ceremony was a nice reception/party. Friends and family gathered, beer and Sekt were had, toasts were made. Actually, the dessert came first. Is it typical in American weddings to eat the wedding cake first? Please let me know because I honestly can’t remember. Dustin should know as he’s been to approximately 200 weddings in the past five years. The new couple had their first dance together, after which the bride danced with many of the male relatives. I even got to dance with her, albeit for a few seconds. And, while Charlotte and I had briefly practiced the Waltz, I somehow was unable to pull it off with perfection when alone with the bride in front of all the guests. She was merciful though and allowed me to return back to my seat rather quickly. Other than a few slide shows, games, and a hilarious skit by Charlotte and a the other bridesmaids, the remainder of the night was devoted to talking with friends and eating the delicious food. At around midnight most of the guests had begun to leave, and I too left my first German wedding. It was an interesting and fun experience. While I have been only to a few weddings back home and can’t speak with authority, the one thing that I noticed was how much time the friends and family spent together at the reception. We were there for around six or seven hours, even the old people! Maybe this is normal back home as well, but I really found it nice to see that the people devoted practically their whole day for celebrating with the couple. The German word for wedding is Hochzeit, which if broken into its component parts, literally means "high time." I think it's interesting to think about a wedding in that manner. And judging from the way the Germans celebrate weddings, it seems that they still think of it in such a way.

(A game where the guests had to sing with these Catholic-like communion wafers stuck to our lips)